Trump: Obama is the Most Ignorant President

“Obama is the most ignorant President the U.S. has ever had,” said Republican Presidential Nominee Donald John Trump today, pointing out that the difference is quite apparent when Obama is compared to presidents like George Bush, George W. Bush, or the should-have-been-president Dan Quayle.

“Kenny Baker is the tallest person who ever lived,” continued Trump, referring to the famous actor who acted R2D2 in the legendary Star Wars saga. “Trust me, folks, trust me. No one as tall as him has ever existed on Earth.”

“Similarly, Muhammad Ali is the worst boxer of all time,” stated Trump. “He was terrible. Awful. Everyone knows that. He should never have been a boxer.”

“Finally, Albert Einstein is the stupidest person who ever lived,” said Trump. “It’s amazing how stupid he was, folks, really amazing.” He pointed out that unless someone is of comparable intelligence to the ‘90’s cartoon characters Beavis and Butthead, who have been his own inspiration, Trump would not consider that person worth mentioning on the intelligence scale.

Fox News has touted that the comments above are the most insightful comments ever made by a Presidential candidate.

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Source: Trump States Obama is the Most Ignorant President in U.S. History

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News Sense News is a satirical blog of fake news that aims to criticize and ridicule human ignorance and narrow-mindedness.

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Congress to be Replaced by Robots by 2025

In an exciting new development, the President of the United States, Barack Obama, today announced an innovative new plan to replace Congress with mechanical robots by 2025.

“Let me be clear about this,” the President stated. “We are not getting rid of Congress. Congressmen and Congresswomen will continue to exist on the books, and they will continue to collect their paychecks,” he clarified to the relief of all Government employees listening.

“In recognition, however, that for the past many decades Congress has voted exclusively along party lines, it is obvious that there is no actual benefit of having humans do the voting,” pointed out the President. “Why burden existing Congressfolks with a tiresome duty that a simple mechanical device can perform!”

“Voting will be done quickly and efficiently by robots,” continued Obama. “These robots will physically occupy the seats of the chamber day and night, weekdays and weekends. They will not have to take breaks or go home.”

The President acknowledged, however, that despite the increased efficiency, he did not expect for Congress to accomplish much more than they get accomplished today.

“We are not naïve,” he said. “We will continue to be in the same gridlock as we have been up to until now, with no chances of getting past it. This gridlock will continue to completely ignore the needs of the American people, which appears to have been the main accomplishment of the current Congress.”

“But,” he said, “at least one important result will be achieved. This gridlock will finally cease to waste the time of the participants in it, who have been most unhappy about the time they have had to put in during their working hours.”

“While the critical issues this country is facing will continue to remain unresolved,” admitted the President, “it will only be the American People who will suffer. Congress, who doesn’t care and has never cared about the American people anyway, will be relieved of their unnecessary burden, so they can enjoy the time they are getting paid for by playing golf or watching NASCAR racing.”

The plans had already been drafted by a bipartisan committee, and experts have determined that devices with approximately half a megabyte of memory should suffice to perform all duties currently performed by human Congressfolks.

In a rare show of unanimous agreement, both Democrats and Republicans have pledged full support for the President’s proposal.

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News Sense News is a satirical blog of fake news that aims to criticize and ridicule human ignorance and narrow-mindedness.

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