Always looking for profitable ventures in Real Estate, the successful American business magnate, investor, TV star, writer, golf enthusiast, part-time hair stylist and 2016 Presidential candidate Donald John Trump Sr. today announced his plans to purchase the White House and turn it around for a profit.
“I just sold a $15 million apartment to a Chinese,” he was quoted of saying. “Just imagine how much the same Chinese would pay for the White House.”
We invited him to elaborate.
“Location,” he said simply. “This property is walking distance from one of my golf courses.”
He admits that the property will require some fixing.
“There’s a room that doesn’t have any corners and it’s hard to put any furniture in it,” he said. “I can fix that. There might be some stains on the carpets left from former President Clinton, some cabinets were baby-proofed to make sure former President Bush doesn’t hurt himself. President Obama appears to have installed ten too many bookshelves. That place ain’t meant to be a library. I can rip these off and replace them with built-in bars.”
“But overall,” he said, “no big red flags.”
“Only one in red, white and blue, but I plan to get rid of the blue,” he winked.
Anything else to fix?
“One coat of fresh paint – orange, I think, would be really nice – and the place will sell like hot cakes.”
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News Sense News is a satirical blog that aims to criticize and ridicule human ignorance and narrow-mindedness.