Trump Reaches Out to North Korea With Hopeful Ask

Following a string of recent firings as well as voluntary departures from his administration,  the most recent one being of his own National Security Advisor General H.R. McMaster, president Donald J. Trump is extending a hand of friendship to North Korea, an old arch-nemesis, in the hope of a deeper partnership.

“Look, we have a lot in common,” he said regarding his informally mentioned upcoming meeting with North Korea’s reclusive leader Kim Jong Un. “We have tremendous respect for each other, and we are both competent, admired leaders, loved by everyone in our countries.”

The agenda of the meeting, which is never intended to take place, is still unclear. However, one of the very, very few remaining sources close to the president, who would like to remain anonymous, but admits that this is becoming increasingly harder due to the continuous shrinking of that already tiny group, has leaked out information that the President is hoping to ask Kim for ideas of how to run the country with fewer and fewer staff, including, if needed, with staff of zero.

The President’s spokeswoman Sarah Sanders indirectly confirmed that need. “We are, indeed, running out of good, quality people,” she shared. “There just aren’t enough Climate Change Deniers, Holocaust Deniers, Science Deniers, Fact Deniers, Neo-Nazis and White Supremacists who have not already been hired and then fired by the President.”

We asked the president’s own Counselor, Ms. Kellyanne Conway, also known under the loving nickname “the Con-girl”, of her opinion of the most recent administration departure, the president’s National Security Advisor, General H.R. McMaster.

“General H.R. McMaster never left,” Conway answered with her characteristic honesty. “He is still actively employed by the president, as are Andrew McCabe, Rex Tillerson, John McEntee, Gary Cohn, Roberta Jacobson, Hope Hicks, Josh Raffel, David Sorensen, Rachel Brand, Rob Porter, Omarosa Manigault Newman, Richard Cordray, Tom Price, Sebastian Gorka, Steve Bannon, Anthony Scaramucci, Reince Priebus, Michael Short, Sean Spicer, Walter Shaub, Michael Dubke, James Comey, Katie Walsh, Preet Bharara, Michael Flynn, Sally Yates…”

We had to cut her off, because our reporter had to, at some point, go home.

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