Taking their “Life is Sacred” fight to a new level, pro-life group Center for Medical Progress announced today that they have begun building out a military division designed to attack and assassinate individuals that oppose their philosophy that life must be preserved at all cost.
“We have no choice,” said group leader and spokesman David Daleiden. “Our fight to save lives is not making enough progress via peaceful means. This leaves us with only one possible option – to create a military division that would fight and kill for the sacred cause of preserving life.”
The group has invested heavily in semi-automatic weapons and explosives. They are also setting up training camps, where their Warriors for Life Preservation will train to acquire the lethal skills they will need to do their day jobs.
“Reproductive Health clinics will be obvious targets,” explained Daleiden. “There are no individuals in a Reproductive Health clinic that respect life. Doctors and patients alike are all there for one and one reason only – to destroy life. We will make sure that doesn’t happen,” he said. “We will kill each and every individual associated with Reproductive Health clinics to ensure that the sacredness of life is protected and preserved.”
The new military division of Center for Medical Progress will be based in Texas, where, in addition to a great choice of conventional weaponry, it will also have the ability to easily acquire weapons grade Uranium, which could prove useful for advancing their cause.
At least one large organization, the NRA, has expressed their full backing of Mr. Daleiden’s cause. They have pledged unconditional support via large discounts and complete lack of background checks.
“Life,” reiterated Daleiden in conclusion, “is sacred, and it is not man’s business to muck with it. Anyone who thinks otherwise, should, in my humble opinion, be killed immediately, without further discussion.”
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