Amazed Marco Rubio Visits the United States Capitol

A wide-eyed Marco Rubio, Junior U.S. Senator from Florida and former contender for the Republican presidential nomination, was seen entering the United States Capitol early Thursday morning.

“Wow,” he was heard saying, shaking his head in amazement. “Just wow! Such an awesome building!”

Rubio’s visit lasted more than an hour, during which the U.S. Senator spend time marveling at the art and murals displayed in the Capitol Rotunda, as well as admiring the magnificent fresco painted on the interior of the Capital Dome by the Italian/Greek American artist Constantino Brumidi in 1865.

“I’m so glad I took this trip,” Rubio told reporters. “Seeing this historic building with my own eyes has been a transforming experience. I will surely remember this moment for the rest of my life.”

The reason for Rubio’s trip has been his recent consideration whether or not he should seek another term as a U.S. Senator.

“It’s a tough decision,” confessed Rubio, “but seeing the building where I’m supposed to be working might just tilt the balance one way or the other.”

Rubio admitted that while serving as a U.S. senator he had had multiple opportunities to visit the Capitol and even vote during some of the numerous sessions of Congress which had taken place while he was a U.S. Senator. However, he had not found the time or interest to take advantage of these opportunities earlier.

“Well, I’ve been busy,” he lamented, “and this place is kind of far from where I live. But who knows, maybe I’ll run for Senator again, and maybe I’ll end up visiting this place a second time at some point in the future. It’s worth it, it’s totally worth it!”

He pointed at “The Apotheosis of Washington“, an elaborate painting of a deified version of George Washington surrounded by 13 maidens, and at “Frieze of American History“, a similarly spectacular painting depicting the chronological history of the United States from the landing of Christopher Columbus to the first flight of the Wright Brothers.

“Someone spent a lot of time painting these,” he observed. “This wasn’t your regular paint-job contractor. Even I can tell that.”

Mr. Rubio’s visit may very well play a role in his upcoming decision. He plans to announce his future office plans within at most a few months.

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News Sense News is a satirical blog of fake news that aims to criticize and ridicule human ignorance and narrow-mindedness.

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Donald Trump to Build Wall Inside United States Capitol

It is no secret that presumptive Republican nominee Donald John Trump has not been particularly popular neither amongst the members of his own party, nor amongst their Democratic counterparts in Congress. Yet, he appeared to not be concerned at all of that fact in our Wednesday interview.

“That’s ok folks,” he downplayed the opposition he was facing. “That’s ok. Because, you know what? When we win this election – and we will win it, mark my words, we will win it – we will build a wall. We will build a wall in the middle of Congress. And it will be a tremendous wall.”

We asked Mr. Trump to explain the purpose of his new wall.

“It’s very simple,” explained the presumptive Republican nominee. “Those who disagree will be on one side. And those who agree – and there will be many, folks, believe me, there will be hundreds, maybe thousands Congressmen who will agree with me, we are the majority, we care about this country – those who agree will stand on the other side with me. And we will work together. We will be the best team America ever had. We will work together to make this country great again.”

Asked about the rationale behind his unprecedented idea, Mr. Trump offered an explanation.

“Look,” he said. “When Democrats, or establishment Republicans – which, by the way, is the same thing, really, it’s the same thing, especially when they are Latinos – when these people send anyone to Congress, they are not sending their best. They are sending people that have lots of problems. They are bringing drugs. They are bringing crime. They are rapists. And some, I assume, may be good people.”

We reminded Mr. Trump that Congress has been lawfully elected to represent the people of America, and that it is more in need of unity than of more divisive measures which would only render it even more ineffective and impotent.

“The wall just got 6 feet higher,” warned Trump.

We had to end the interview early out of concern that if his wall were to grow even a bit more, it could cause structural damage to the United State Capitol, which, among other things, is a historical monument.

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News Sense News is a satirical blog of fake news that aims to criticize and ridicule human ignorance and narrow-mindedness.

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Also relevant: Democrats Distracting Americans from the Most Relevant Issues