Everyone knows how disappointing the Star Wars saga has been for Americans ever since its very inception, reported Fox News early Saturday, one day after the Premiere of “The Last Jedi”, the latest installment of the Star Wars saga.
That is no more, said Fox News. President Donald John Trump had taken it personally to intervene and Make Star Wars Great Again. Earlier in the year, he had appointed writer and director Rian Johnson to take charge of the franchise, and ensure that it is finally and permanently fixed in the upcoming Episode VIII.
Everything President Trump touches turns into pure gold, stated Fox News. The Last Jedi is no exception.
“The best movie ever!” stated randomly selected by Fox News “Star Wars” fan Buck Cornhauler from rural Alabama, who went to the movies for the first time in twenty years with a ticket sponsored by Fox News, just so he could see the result of Donald Trump’s effort.
Buck admitted that he had never actually seen any of the other Star Wars movies, nor, for that matter, any movie at all over the last 20 years, but he has always been a big fan, as he had been told by the crew of Fox News who paid him to interview him.
Fox News stated that Buck’s experience is the experience of every American. Indeed, they stated, The Last Jedi is not only the best movie of the franchise, but possibly the best movie of all times.
They offered a careful recommendation. All their viewers, they said, should purchase tickets for the movie, but not actually see it, because seeing a movie so great could spoil every single movie they try to see at any time after that.
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