U.S. Senate Rejects Theory of Relativity in 50-49 Vote


Photo credited to Jonathan Ernst, Reuters

Republican dominated U.S. Senate today voted 50-49 to reject the previously accepted notion that the speed of light in vacuum is a constant independent of the speed of the observer. This fact was the foundation on which known scientist Albert Einstein built his revolutionary Theory of Relativity.

“Well, look,” said Senator James Mountain “Jim” Inhofe, a senior Republican senator from Oklahoma, “just because someone thinks that light moves at a constant speed in vacuum or anywhere else doesn’t really mean that’s true. People make things up, you know.”

“Besides,” he added, “if you ask me, light doesn’t really move. I’ve got light at home, and I can turn it on or off, but that’s about all you can do with it.”

Scientists have measured the speed of light and have been confirming Einstein’s Theory for decades, both theoretically and experimentally. A lot of these measurements constitute standard part of Physics curricula in academic institutions. None of this data, however, was admissible evidence during the Senate vote.

“Let’s not twist the truth here,” said Senator Inhofe. “We did consider what they called ‘evidence’. You know what the evidence was? Pages of pages of squiggly letters. They weren’t even English. My three-year-old can make up ‘evidence’ like that.”

“I think,” he said, “these so-called ‘scientists’ probably thought we would look at that gibberish, and decide that they are really, really smart, so, we would trust them. Well, guess what? We are not that stupid.”

What will be the next steps after this historic vote?

“The logical next step would be to take all that light garbage out of our kids’ education, who can then concentrate on studying The Book.”

“Oh, and of course, cut all funds for Physics research, and give this taxpayer money to oil companies and the NRA, where these funds are desperately needed.”

Reference: http://popist.com/s/cb5702e/

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News Sense News is a satirical blog that aims to criticize and ridicule human ignorance and narrow-mindedness.