Melania Trump: “I was Born Black”

Time constraints did not allow Mrs. Melania Trump to deliver the full speech she had prepared all by herself for the Republican National Convention in Cleveland, Ohio, where her husband, the reality TV star Donald John Trump, is expected to be nominated as the Republican candidate for the U.S. Presidency.

Fortunately, sources familiar with the original draft were able to provide us with highlights of what Mrs. Trump had intended to share about her experiences, which shaped her perceptions of the world and made her the unique, original and intelligent person she now is.

“I was raised Black in the suburbs on the South Side of Chicago,” Mrs. Trump shared in a stunning revelation about her early childhood. “My parents taught me how to work hard, that my word is my bond, and how to treat people with dignity and respect.”

“I was fortunate to go to Princeton University,” Mrs. Trump’s speech continued despite the fact that she does not hold a college degree, “and later, to the Law School at Harvard University.”

In one of her discarded draft highlights, Mrs. Trump recounted her chance encounter with her now husband and presidential candidate Donald John Trump.

“When I met Barack Donald back in 1990 1998,” Mrs. Trump’s original draft read, clearly showing a few small factual corrections made by Mrs. Trump to better align with the facts, “he was a young starry eyed idealist, who was devastatingly charming and intelligent.“

The couple married in 1992 2005, and had been married ever since, to her and everyone else’s great surprise.

It is, indeed, regrettable that the Republican National Convention attendees could not hear Mrs. Trump’s speech in its entirety, since the thoughtfully written original piece would have further solidified the already shockingly solid impression that Republican delegates have of the Trump family.

Mrs. Trump has, however, promised, that if her husband is promoted to President, she would take time on national TV to tell the American people the entire story.

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Source: (CNN) Melania Trump “Borrows” Heavily from Michelle Obama’s 2008 Speech for Republican Convention

Source: (CNN) Trump Campaign Denies Similarities Between Speeches

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News Sense News is a satirical blog of fake news that aims to criticize and ridicule human ignorance and narrow-mindedness. As it is the case for this post, it is frequently based on real news, and not that far from it.


CNN Hosts Semi-Final of America’s First Unattractive Male Pageant

On Tuesday, CNN hosted the semi-final of the first of its kind Unattractive Male Pageant. Three finalists stood out from the crowd of 17 initial contestants which have been competing for the title starting several months back.

The Unattractive Male Pageant is a concept derived from previously held Beauty Pageants, but, as the title suggests, the contestants compete based on criteria that are the exact opposite of those typical in Beauty Pageants. Candidates are expected to not only look their worst, but to also demonstrate lack of any discernible talents and empathy on any humanitarian issue.

Voting for which one of the three semi-finalists is the ugliest will continue over the next several months. Voters are taking into account not only how repulsive the contestant’s appearance is, but also how ugly and revolting their personalities are.

The goal of the Pageant is to crown the least attractive of all contestants as the Ugly King.

The contestants have done an excellent job of disgusting American audiences so far. The race is expected to be tight.

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News Sense News is a satirical blog of fake news that aims to criticize and ridicule human ignorance and narrow-mindedness.

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Also relevant:

Miss South Carolina 2007 on Trump’s Recent Debate

Today, Miss South Carolina 2007, a staunch supporter of Republican Presidential nominee Donald James Trump threw her weight behind Trump’s most recent discussion of the size of his hands, and the implication of that size for the size of his penis, during a nationally televised Republican debate.

“I personally believe,” Miss South Carolina said in an astounding display of clarity uncharacteristic of her when discussing other topics, “that Mr. Trump has a medium sized [penis]. The strange thing about it is this one piece of hanging foreskin, but that is ok if he just wants to be President.”

Asked to clarify what she means, Ms. South Carolina simply replied: “U.S. Americans are able to do so, such as.”

Asked if she came to her conclusions based solely on the size of Mr. Trump’s hands, Miss South Carolina said “Yes. I personally believe that.”

She was invited to comment on other candidates in the Republican race.

“That Mexican guy from Florida,” she said, referring to the Cuban Marco Rubio. “He has really big ears. I haven’t seen his [penis],” she said, “but from his ears, I can tell it’s really big.”

She declined to comment whether or not that would qualify him as a better candidate than Trump, since the interview was getting too long.

See a video of her discussing other important world issues.

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News Sense News is a satirical blog of fake news that aims to criticize and ridicule human ignorance and narrow-mindedness.

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Also relevant:


Random Non-Experts Weigh in Heavily on Non-Existence of Climate Change

Random non-experts, who have been completely unfamiliar with the issue, and have spent no time at all trying to understand the complexity of it, weighed in heavily towards the assertion that climate change does not exist, and, in addition, it is not man made.

“There ain’t no such thing,” said Alicia Butts from Eagle Mountain, Utah, who works as a part-time waitress at Arby’s. Asked if she would change her opinion if we left her a 20% tip, she acquiesced, “Sure, honey, whatever suits you.”

Todd Akin, a graduate of the Covenant Theological Seminary in Creve Coeur, MO, also shared his views. “The sun itself has variable output, which affects temperature cycles [1],” he said. “Although this is not true at night,” he clarified.

Miss South Carolina 2007, a former beauty queen who had been known to entertain complex opinions, spoke eloquently, and with grace: “I personally believe,” she said, “that things such as, are unable to do so. The U.S. should do more to help the U.S.” she recommended.

The issue did not slip away from national political discussions either. Presidential candidate Rafael Edward “Ted” Cruz, who for some reason still believes he is eligible to run for President despite the fact that he is born in Canada, also expressed his strong opinion. “The Holy Book has no mention of climate change,” he said. “I will repeal climate change the first day I am in office,” he promised, even though he can never be elected according to the Constitution.

Clyde Hogan, a resident of the Roll-a-Home trailer park in Cripple Creek, CO, was the most expressive of all of them. He stated his beliefs on the matter by posing a rhetorical question. “What the f*ck you talkin about,” he asked, deftly rejecting the idea via implicit dismissal.

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News Sense News is a satirical blog of fake news that aims to criticize and ridicule human ignorance and narrow-mindedness.

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  1. This first part is actually a real quote by Todd Akin, a former U.S. Representative from the state of Missouri, who knows just as much about climate change as Miss South Carolina knows about analytical geometry:

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Related: U.S. Senate Rejects Theory of Relativity in 50-49 Vote


Miss South Carolina 2007 Endorses Donald Trump

In a show of unwavering support, Miss South Carolina 2007, who won the hearts of millions of Republican voters back during the 2007 Miss Teen USA Pageant, endorsed Presidential Candidate Donald John Trump, while responding to a provoking question whether she thinks he is “all over the map.”

“I personally believe,” she said in a televised statement, “that U.S. Americans don’t even need maps such as. But still, they should vote for Trump, because of that, or else they will be unable to do so,” she stated.

“Also,” she said, “countries such as South Africa and the Iraq, everywhere like such as, should also vote for him, because we want World Peace.”

Source: Miss Teen USA South Carolina Answers a Question

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News Sense News is a satirical blog of fake news that aims to criticize and ridicule human ignorance and narrow-mindedness.

Miss Universe Contest Biased Towards Human Females


The popular Miss Universe beauty pageant is currently under investigation with suspicion that it may have been biased towards human females.

“Not a single female of non-human species made it even to the entry level stages of the contest,” shared Benjamin Prokop, a lawyer self-appointed to represent non-human life forms. “The contest exclusively shunned the females of all other Earth species, as well as any female individuals from other planets or galaxies.

Mr. Prokop will seek unspecified damages to be paid off to everyone non-human for the lost opportunity to compete in the elite contest. His not at all modest fee is to also be collected from the proceeds of these damages.

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News Sense News is a satirical blog that aims to criticize and ridicule ignorance and narrow-mindedness.