Trump-Putin Talks Transcript

Driven by news of 12 new indictments of Russian nationals issued by the office of FBI’s Robert Mueller on Friday, 7/13, and in light of the upcoming meeting of Mr. Trump with Russian President Vladimir Putin on 7/16, the White House took the unprecedented step  to release a detailed transcript of the upcoming conversation between the two leaders today, 7/13.

“We felt that the American People need to know exactly what will be discussed,” explained White House Press Secretary Sarah Elizabeth Huckabee Sanders. “This way, they would not be swayed right now by the fake information from fake non-Fox-News news that might come out before, during, or after the meeting.”

One paragraph of the proactively published transcript stands out. It discusses, in detail, the direct conversation that Mr. Trump and Mr. Putin will have about the aforementioned interference.

“This transcript,” Mrs. Sanders stated, “should put an end to any fake claims of the fake left wing, left center, center, right center, independent or international media. In this upcoming conversation,” Mrs. Sanders pointed out, “Mr. Putin will very clearly reject any accusation that Russia interfered with the U.S. election.”

Transcripts of future conversations of Government leaders several days in advance are uncommon, but such transcripts have, when timing requires it, been used to let voting citizens know what these conversation will be in order to prevent other so-called “poorly timed” non-Fox-News news from clouding the citizens’ judgment.

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News Sense News is a SATIRICAL blog of FAKE NEWS that aims to showcase, criticize and ridicule corruption, ignorance and narrow-mindedness. It is often inspired by very, very real news.

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Paul Ryan Opens Up About Principles

On Thursday, June 21, Paul Davis Ryan Jr., the departing 54th Speaker of the United States House of Representatives, unexpectedly opened up, letting the world know that he has secretly and silently harbored principles that he had never previously shared with anyone, including those closest to him.

“That is right,” he confirmed. “The time has come for me to come clean. I cannot hide this any longer.”

It was not immediately clear what principles he was referring to, but more specifics, Ryan alluded, could be shared at some unspecified future time, when he was “ready”.

The sudden admission left his fellow politicians confused and upset. Ryan, already 48 years old, had been elected as a Speaker of the Republican-controlled House precisely for his obvious and outspoken lack of principles.

“Had we known this previously,” stated stone-faced Senate Majority Leader Addison Mitchell (“Mitch”) McConnell Jr., “we would clearly not have elected the double-faced liar to lead the House.”

Ryan’s wife, Janna Ryan, wept as she held their three children Samuel, Charles and Elizabeth.

“How could he do this to us?” she kept saying. “How could he? He seemed so perfectly heartless, so perfectly hypocritical. He had been acting a part all along.”

There are no words to express the shock and sadness of so many, who had admired Ryan for his lack of moral compass and even basic compassion. Only time would tell how those deep wounds would be healed.

Source: Paul Ryan Has Sacrificed the Rest of His Principles (Bloomberg)

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News Sense News is a SATIRICAL blog of FAKE NEWS that aims to showcase, criticize and ridicule corruption, ignorance and narrow-mindedness. It is often inspired by very, very real news.

Donald Trump to Let Immigrant Families and Their Children Stay for Free in His Most Expensive Luxury Hotels

Today, Fox News reported that U.S. President Donald John Trump has opened the doors of his most extravagant and lavish hotels to allow immigrant families and their children stay for free for as long as they want.

Title made you look, didn’t it? Yes, this is a satirical blog. Normally, I would be serving you a dose of sarcastic humor. But sometimes the world is so messes up, satire cannot capture the enormity of the situation it tries to describe. So, instead, for a change, this post will report on what is really happening.

No, Donald Trump did not open his hotels to immigrant families. More than 2300 children still remain forcefully separated from their parents with no paper trail to allow them to be reunited with their families in the foreseeable future. They are terrified and alone. This administration has stated that they have no plan, and, indeed, no method of reuniting these children with their parents.

Donald J. Trump has signed an executive order to replace future family separations with family incarcerations. No law requires that. Crossing the border illegally is a misdemeanor, not a crime that requires detention. The atrocities of this administration amount to crimes against humanity.

Stop listening to the lies of Fox News. Read and listed to independent news and International news. The propaganda machine of this administration has descended into blatant lies to keep the public brainwashed and uninformed.

Read. Listen. Stay informed. Act. We live in times where inaction is no longer an option. Those who stay silent are complicit. Those who intentionally justify the atrocities of the current regime are guilty.

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News Sense News is (usually) a SATIRICAL blog of FAKE NEWS that aims to showcase, criticize and ridicule corruption, ignorance and narrow-mindedness. This instance of it, however, aims to simply somberly report the facts.

President Trump’s Letter to Korean Leader Kim Jong-un

Today, Thursday, May 24th, President Donald John Trump canceled his long anticipated meeting with North Korean Leader Kim Jong-un. Our staff was able to obtain the original version of President Trump’s letter, as well as the revisions done by his staff prior to finalizing the draft. Mr. Trump’s original text is provided in red, and the reductions to it are provided in gray.

Here they are:

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Kim Jong in North Korea His Excellency
Kim Jong Un
 (You guys know the address) Chairman of the State Affairs Commission
of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea
Pyongyang

Kim-Jong, you made a bad choice. Big, big mistake. We greatly appreciate your time, patience, and effort with respect to our recent negotiations and discussions relative to a summit long sought by both parties, which was scheduled to take place on June 12 in Singapore. We were informed that the meeting was requested by North Korea, but that to us is totally irrelevant. I was very much looking forward to being there with you. Too much anger. Sadly, based on the tremendous anger and open hostility displayed in your most recent statement, I feel it is inappropriate, at this time, to have this long-planned meeting.

Too bad. Your loss. Meeting is off. Therefore, please let this letter serve to represent that the Singapore summit, for the good of both parties, but to the detriment of the world, will not take place.We have more nukes. We will use them. We will level NK any time we want. Just so you know. You talk about nuclear capabilities, but ours are so massive and powerful that I pray to God they will never have to be used.

Looked like it was all going well. I felt a wonderful dialogue was building up between you and me, and ultimately, it is only that dialogue that matters. They were going to give me Nobel Prize, you know. They said it. And then you said some stupid things. Stupid, stupid things. Big mistake. I don’t care about the Nobel Prize. I may still get it, even without you. Some day, I look very much forward to meeting you. In the meantime, I want to thank you for the release of the hostages who are now home with their families. That was a beautiful gesture and was very much appreciated.

Maybe you’ll change your mind. If you change your mind having to do with this most important summit, please do not hesitate to call me or write. The world, and North Korea in particular, has lost a great opportunity for lasting peace and great prosperity and wealth. This missed opportunity is a truly sad moment in history.

We have more nukes. If you do, we may reschedule. Maybe. If you are really nice. But otherwise, we’ll nuke North Korea.

Sincerely yours,
Donald Trump, President of the World Donald J. Trump
President of the United States of America

 

Source: Read President Trump’s Letter to Kim Canceling the Summit (CNN)

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News Sense News is a SATIRICAL blog of FAKE NEWS that aims to showcase, criticize and ridicule corruption, ignorance and narrow-mindedness. It is often inspired by very, very real news.

Trump Cancels North Korea Summit, Quotes Winning

Today, Thursday, May 24, president Donald John Trump announced that after careful consideration he is canceling the long awaited summit with North Korean leader Kim Jong-un.

“So much winning would be too much for any one president,” he explained his reasons. “We have been winning every single day since I took office. It has been tremendous. But I promised Americans that they will get tired of winning, and today, I have delivered on that promise.”

Mr. Trump acknowledged that this particular win was difficult to give up.

“Yes, I would have gotten a Nobel Prize for this one,” he said. “They asked me, do you want a Nobel Prize? They asked me that, you know. I deserve it. No one deserves it better than me. But I thought about it, and I said, that would be too much winning. They may still give me one, I don’t know, maybe they will, but at this point, I am more interested in starting to win less. Because, you know, the American people are getting tired. They have never seen that much winning. They don’t know how to handle that.”

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News Sense News is a SATIRICAL blog of FAKE NEWS that aims to showcase, criticize and ridicule corruption, ignorance and narrow-mindedness. It is often inspired by very, very real news.

White House Jokes Lightheartedly About John McCain

Earlier this week, following Senator John McCain opposition of president Trumps CIA nominee Gina Haspel, White House aide Kelly Sadler took a lighthearted approach.

“He is dying anyway,” she joked* (see source).

A good number of White House employees exploded in laughter at her witty humor.

White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders could barely speak from her giggles as tears streamed from her eyes.

“And he… he…” she kept saying, trying to build on Sadler’s joke, “he is in a lot of pain! He is going to die in pain!” She was holding on her stomach, bent over from her laughing fit.

President Trump brushed aside at the general uplifted spirit on his staff.

“They are just having fun!” he said. “They work very, very hard every day. They deserve to have some time to laugh and enjoy the terrific news about that captured loser John McCain, who won’t be around for too much longer.”

The White House, Trump said, has been in a constant state of laughter ever since he was elected President.

*Source: White House Aide Jokes About Dying McCain (CNN)

Source: White House Refuses to Apologize for Kelly Sadler Joke about McCain (NY Times)

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News Sense News is a SATIRICAL blog of FAKE NEWS that aims to showcase, criticize and ridicule corruption, ignorance and narrow-mindedness. It is often inspired by very, very real news.

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Author’s note: Satire can showcase human follies, but nothing, NOTHING can do justice in showcasing the sickness and degradation of this administration. Mr. McCain, you are a hero, Sir. You are what makes America great.

McCain Does Not Want Trump Attending His Funeral

Early on Monday, May 7, U.S. Senator John Sidney McCain re-iterated his earlier statement that he, personally, would not want current president Donald J. Trump attending his funeral (see NBC News Article below) .

“This is a situation that I find unacceptable on multiple levels,” said McCain.

His preference, McCain confirmed, as well as the preference of more than 65% of all Americans, would be that he, John McCain, attends Trump’s funeral instead.

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Source: McCain Does Not Want Trump at Funeral (NBC News)

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News Sense News is a SATIRICAL blog of FAKE NEWS that aims to provide entertainment. It is often, as in this case, inspired by very, very real news.

Trump’s Legal Team and Their Duties

Recent news had suggested that president Donald J. Trump is having a difficult time finding talented American lawyers to represent him in various matters related to his life before and after he was elected president.

Today, Mr. Trump let us know via a tweet that this is a “vicious lie” and “fabrication” made up by the “fake news media”, a term he frequently uses to refer to anyone who is not Fox News.

Specifically, Mr. Trump pointed to two top American lawyers who will be representing him as follows.

American lawyer Genadiy “Jay” Sekulow will be representing president Trump with any matter related to Russia. This includes matters related to Mueller’s Russia Probe, as well as other unspecified “private” matters that are, according to Mr. Trump, “of personal nature”. Mr. Sekulow will be working closely with several other not very well-known but otherwise very talented American lawyers such as Dmitriy “Dale” Poddelkin, Igor “Irwin” Ljetzov and Natasha “Nancy” Pokrivalova.

Recent addition to Donald Trump’s legal team is American politician and lawyer Roberto “Rudy” Giuliani. On the books, Giuliani will be handling a variety of legal issues for Mr. Trump. In reality, however, he had been hired to deal with some unspecified “business” related to “taxes” and “friends” that Mr. Trump has been having dealing with in a small Mediterranean country. Mr. Giuliani’s counsel includes American lawyers Marco “Mitch” Crimini, Angelo “Andy” Nasconde, and Luka “Larry” Teppista.

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News Sense News is a SATIRICAL blog of FAKE NEWS that aims to showcase, criticize and ridicule corruption, ignorance and narrow-mindedness.

Trump Reaches Out to North Korea With Hopeful Ask

Following a string of recent firings as well as voluntary departures from his administration,  the most recent one being of his own National Security Advisor General H.R. McMaster, president Donald J. Trump is extending a hand of friendship to North Korea, an old arch-nemesis, in the hope of a deeper partnership.

“Look, we have a lot in common,” he said regarding his informally mentioned upcoming meeting with North Korea’s reclusive leader Kim Jong Un. “We have tremendous respect for each other, and we are both competent, admired leaders, loved by everyone in our countries.”

The agenda of the meeting, which is never intended to take place, is still unclear. However, one of the very, very few remaining sources close to the president, who would like to remain anonymous, but admits that this is becoming increasingly harder due to the continuous shrinking of that already tiny group, has leaked out information that the President is hoping to ask Kim for ideas of how to run the country with fewer and fewer staff, including, if needed, with staff of zero.

The President’s spokeswoman Sarah Sanders indirectly confirmed that need. “We are, indeed, running out of good, quality people,” she shared. “There just aren’t enough Climate Change Deniers, Holocaust Deniers, Science Deniers, Fact Deniers, Neo-Nazis and White Supremacists who have not already been hired and then fired by the President.”

We asked the president’s own Counselor, Ms. Kellyanne Conway, also known under the loving nickname “the Con-girl”, of her opinion of the most recent administration departure, the president’s National Security Advisor, General H.R. McMaster.

“General H.R. McMaster never left,” Conway answered with her characteristic honesty. “He is still actively employed by the president, as are Andrew McCabe, Rex Tillerson, John McEntee, Gary Cohn, Roberta Jacobson, Hope Hicks, Josh Raffel, David Sorensen, Rachel Brand, Rob Porter, Omarosa Manigault Newman, Richard Cordray, Tom Price, Sebastian Gorka, Steve Bannon, Anthony Scaramucci, Reince Priebus, Michael Short, Sean Spicer, Walter Shaub, Michael Dubke, James Comey, Katie Walsh, Preet Bharara, Michael Flynn, Sally Yates…”

We had to cut her off, because our reporter had to, at some point, go home.

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News Sense News is a SATIRICAL blog of FAKE NEWS that aims to showcase, criticize and ridicule corruption, ignorance and narrow-mindedness. It is frequently inspired by very, very real news.

 

Rudolph and the Brown-Nosed Reindeer

Rudolph was a reindeer, one of several, employed by world renowned toy manufacturer Santa Claus to provide horsepower to his delivery sleigh.

But Rudolph was also a little bit different from the other reindeer. His nose was red. That difference was a result of his heritage. He was a descendant of an immigrant family of reindeer from Canada, talented and intelligent, who had also raised Rudolph with similar abilities and values.

Rudolph never told the other reindeer of his background. The other reindeer, who had brown noses, were shallow and uneducated. They had all been raised in the more conservative forests in the United States, where uniformity was the norm, and diversity and intelligence were feared and hated. (Additionally, they had been thoroughly brainwashed by the lying Fox News network, but that is a completely different story altogether.)

Even by hiding his true heritage, Rudolph did not find acceptance. His red nose was a sufficient difference for the other reindeer to shun him, call him names, and not let him play deer games with them.

One day, however, everything changed. Santa, who needed someone to guide his sleigh through winter storms and fog with poor visibility, had no choice but to ask Rudolph to lead the way.  He needed someone competent, or else his deliveries would fail.

Telling this to the other reindeer was not an option. They were quick to judge and easy to anger. So, he came up with an explanation: he was selecting Rudolph because of his red nose.

The brown nosed reindeer were a little surprised, but took the explanation at face value, wasting no time to show Santa their fidelity to his authority. They immediately did a 180 degree on Rudolph, and started complimenting him, stating that he would “go down in history”.

Secretly, each of them booked an appointment with a plastic surgeon to replace their brown noses with red ones.

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News Sense News is a SATIRICAL blog of FAKE NEWS that aims to showcase, criticize and ridicule corruption, ignorance and narrow-mindedness.