High School Couple Conceives Accidentally at Party Via IVF


For Jason and Annie from Tribune, Kansas, it was just a late night Christian party at the house of a friend whose parents were out of town. Everyone was having a good time, drinking lemonade and discussing the Holy Book.

It was a month or so later when Annie discovered she was pregnant.

“I seem to remember meeting this IVF specialist at the party,” she recalled. “At least we think he must have been an IVF specialist,” she added.

“It might have been the amount of lemonade we all had, but when the IVF specialist asked Jason to provide a sperm sample, Jason just went ahead and gave him one,” she said.  “Well, at least we think he must have given him one, even though we are not sure when or how” she added.

It didn’t end there though. There was more to come.

“I remember being in the kitchen later,” said Annie. “We were quoting passages from the Old Testament. It must have been then when the IVF specialist must have extracted one of my eggs while I wasn’t paying attention,” she said.

One thing led to another. Some probably heretic scientific procedures must have taken place in the back room, but when it was all over, the IVF specialist had successfully implanted a fertilized egg into Annie’s uterus.

She went home late that day and felt exhausted in church the next morning. A month later, she realized she was pregnant.

It was initially unclear how this had happened. Jason and Annie were not married at the time, so, it was completely impossible for them to have had sex at that party or at any other time.

To figure out what actually happened so they can explain it to their parents, the two of them spent a lot of time praying. Finally, via mutual recollection and deduction, they succeeded to piece up the story that they are now telling everyone, so that no one assumes erroneously that they had sinned.

How did the two of them know that the person they met was an IVF specialist?

“To be honest, we don’t actually know that,” admitted Jason. “But that is the only explanation. Only this way, unmarried virgins like Annie and myself could have suddenly become expecting parents. One doesn’t need a proof when this is the only possible option.”

To deal with the unexpected situation, the couple had to get married in a church. They did so, even though Jason’s family believes in the Revised Standard Version of the Bible, while Annie’s believes in the New Revised Standard Version, so, an exception had to be made.

Technically, the couple is now allowed to have sex if it is absolutely necessary, but since they are already expecting a baby, there has been no need for them to have sex at all.

As is customary in cases like this, someone always asks the question why God permitted this to happen?

“We think that God meant this to be a lesson to us and everyone,” said Jason. “We think, God’s message is: we should be very careful whom we talk to at parties.”

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News Sense News is a satirical fake news blog that aims to criticize and ridicule human ignorance and narrow-mindedness.

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See also: Kansas: The First State to Teach Correct Theory of Babies