Proof that UFOs Likely Contain Intelligent Life


David Brickham considers himself to be not only an avid Dungeons and Dragons player, but also a devoted UFO enthusiast. Ever since his early teens, he has been spending most of his free time, in fact, most of his time, in his parents’ basement, looking through newspaper clippings and later on, as technology advanced, browsing the web for evidence of extraterrestrial life. Now in his mid-fourties, he believes he has found the proof that intelligent life is the reason behind UFOs that have been appearing through history.

“I just decided to approach this scientifically,” said David. “I looked at UFO data. Specifically, I looked at the frequency of UFO sightings, and correlated them to presence of technology that allows them to be documented.”

David found a surprising result. The more human technology advanced, the fewer UFOs were observed.

“This was counter-intuitive,” explained David. “We now have a lot more satellites, a lot more surveillance, and lot more capabilities to document events. Everyone now carries a cell phone and is able to snap a photo the moment they see a UFO. You would think that this way there would be more sightings.”

But the data showed the opposite. As technology became more available, sightings became fewer.

For David, there was only one explanation.

“They must now be INTENTIONALLY hiding from us,” he said. “They must KNOW that we now have better capabilities to detect them.”

That kind of adaptive behavior could only be attributed to one reason.
“Intelligence!” said David. “They must be intelligent, so they take action to evade exposure!”

David intends to continue spending the rest of his life browsing the internet in his parents’ basement so he can further confirm his conclusions.

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News Sense News is a satirical blog that aims to criticize and ridicule human ignorance and narrow-mindedness.

To the great surprise of its author, the blog has taken the unexpected turn of discussing politics and politicians more than originally intended; ignorance and narrow mindedness seem to be abundant in the field of politics. Still, the author continues to hope that lighter topics like this one will continue to crop up, since we all need to relax and enjoy our days more.