CNN Hosts Semi-Final of America’s First Unattractive Male Pageant

On Tuesday, CNN hosted the semi-final of the first of its kind Unattractive Male Pageant. Three finalists stood out from the crowd of 17 initial contestants which have been competing for the title starting several months back.

The Unattractive Male Pageant is a concept derived from previously held Beauty Pageants, but, as the title suggests, the contestants compete based on criteria that are the exact opposite of those typical in Beauty Pageants. Candidates are expected to not only look their worst, but to also demonstrate lack of any discernible talents and empathy on any humanitarian issue.

Voting for which one of the three semi-finalists is the ugliest will continue over the next several months. Voters are taking into account not only how repulsive the contestant’s appearance is, but also how ugly and revolting their personalities are.

The goal of the Pageant is to crown the least attractive of all contestants as the Ugly King.

The contestants have done an excellent job of disgusting American audiences so far. The race is expected to be tight.

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News Sense News is a satirical blog of fake news that aims to criticize and ridicule human ignorance and narrow-mindedness.

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Miss South Carolina 2007 on Trump’s Recent Debate

Today, Miss South Carolina 2007, a staunch supporter of Republican Presidential nominee Donald James Trump threw her weight behind Trump’s most recent discussion of the size of his hands, and the implication of that size for the size of his penis, during a nationally televised Republican debate.

“I personally believe,” Miss South Carolina said in an astounding display of clarity uncharacteristic of her when discussing other topics, “that Mr. Trump has a medium sized [penis]. The strange thing about it is this one piece of hanging foreskin, but that is ok if he just wants to be President.”

Asked to clarify what she means, Ms. South Carolina simply replied: “U.S. Americans are able to do so, such as.”

Asked if she came to her conclusions based solely on the size of Mr. Trump’s hands, Miss South Carolina said “Yes. I personally believe that.”

She was invited to comment on other candidates in the Republican race.

“That Mexican guy from Florida,” she said, referring to the Cuban Marco Rubio. “He has really big ears. I haven’t seen his [penis],” she said, “but from his ears, I can tell it’s really big.”

She declined to comment whether or not that would qualify him as a better candidate than Trump, since the interview was getting too long.

See a video of her discussing other important world issues.

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News Sense News is a satirical blog of fake news that aims to criticize and ridicule human ignorance and narrow-mindedness.

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Miss South Carolina 2007 Endorses Donald Trump

In a show of unwavering support, Miss South Carolina 2007, who won the hearts of millions of Republican voters back during the 2007 Miss Teen USA Pageant, endorsed Presidential Candidate Donald John Trump, while responding to a provoking question whether she thinks he is “all over the map.”

“I personally believe,” she said in a televised statement, “that U.S. Americans don’t even need maps such as. But still, they should vote for Trump, because of that, or else they will be unable to do so,” she stated.

“Also,” she said, “countries such as South Africa and the Iraq, everywhere like such as, should also vote for him, because we want World Peace.”

Source: Miss Teen USA South Carolina Answers a Question

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News Sense News is a satirical blog of fake news that aims to criticize and ridicule human ignorance and narrow-mindedness.

Miss Universe Contest Biased Towards Human Females

Miss_Universe_2014

The popular Miss Universe beauty pageant is currently under investigation with suspicion that it may have been biased towards human females.

“Not a single female of non-human species made it even to the entry level stages of the contest,” shared Benjamin Prokop, a lawyer self-appointed to represent non-human life forms. “The contest exclusively shunned the females of all other Earth species, as well as any female individuals from other planets or galaxies.

Mr. Prokop will seek unspecified damages to be paid off to everyone non-human for the lost opportunity to compete in the elite contest. His not at all modest fee is to also be collected from the proceeds of these damages.

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News Sense News is a satirical blog that aims to criticize and ridicule ignorance and narrow-mindedness.