Fox News Seeks CNN Help

Following the Congressional testimony of Michael Dean Cohen, the former lawyer and personal counsel of Donald John Trump, one particular network found itself in unfamiliar waters.

“It’s kind of embarrassing when you think about it,” shared recent Fox News hire David Conway, “well, maybe just a teeny-weeny bit. We… well… had to query CNN for some information on Thursday.”

The problem, David explained, arose from the fact that Fox News employees have been so busy and so focused in trying to discredit Cohen both before and during his testimony, that no one in the entire network had had any chance to actually listen to what Cohen said during the hearing.

When the testimony was over, someone in the news room asked about what they should be writing in the commentary following the testimony. The answer was, as usual, listen to what Cohen said, and tell your readers the complete opposite.

Except that no one knew what Cohen said.

Fox executives did not panic. Being the experienced network they are, they already had pre-prepared templates from years earlier, where they just had to enter Cohen’s name. The rest was information that was already ready to be published.

So, this is what they, Fox, did. They immediately published numerous templates, which by design made sure that the targeted individual, in this case Cohen, is mocked, ridiculed, insulted and discredited. In the background, however, higher level Fox executives secretly looked up real news published by trusted networks such as CNN. They then engaged their own writers to fully invert anything that CNN was saying.

“You know what was interesting?” conservative political commentator Tucker Carlson shared. “The outcome was, in fact, almost identical to the templates we had already published!”

“Makes you think, doesn’t it?” he added. “Why waste any of our time actually listening to any actual testimonies, or to anything at all?”

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News Sense News is a SATIRICAL blog of FAKE NEWS that aims to showcase, criticize and ridicule corruption, ignorance and narrow-mindedness. It is often inspired by very, very real news.

CNN Hosts Semi-Final of America’s First Unattractive Male Pageant

On Tuesday, CNN hosted the semi-final of the first of its kind Unattractive Male Pageant. Three finalists stood out from the crowd of 17 initial contestants which have been competing for the title starting several months back.

The Unattractive Male Pageant is a concept derived from previously held Beauty Pageants, but, as the title suggests, the contestants compete based on criteria that are the exact opposite of those typical in Beauty Pageants. Candidates are expected to not only look their worst, but to also demonstrate lack of any discernible talents and empathy on any humanitarian issue.

Voting for which one of the three semi-finalists is the ugliest will continue over the next several months. Voters are taking into account not only how repulsive the contestant’s appearance is, but also how ugly and revolting their personalities are.

The goal of the Pageant is to crown the least attractive of all contestants as the Ugly King.

The contestants have done an excellent job of disgusting American audiences so far. The race is expected to be tight.

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News Sense News is a satirical blog of fake news that aims to criticize and ridicule human ignorance and narrow-mindedness.

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