Early Friday morning, following the release of a damaging tape that sent his reputation on a downward spiral, Republican Presidential Nominee Donald John Trump stood in front of the American people on T.V., humble and apologetic.
“My words don’t reflect who I am,” he stated for everyone’s assurance. “What I said on that tape, and what I have been saying many times after, and what I will continue to say, has nothing to do with me. It’s not a reflection of me.”
“My actions don’t reflect who I am,” continued the candidate. “Don’t judge me by my actions. They are just actions, things I do. They are not the real me.”
“My thoughts also don’t reflect who I am,” Trump re-assured his voters. “Nothing I do, or say, or think really shows who I am. Trust me, folks, trust me. That’s the truth.”
“I am someone completely different,” he concluded his apologetic speech. “I am a very, very different person from what my words, or actions, or thoughts show. And that is tremendous. It’s tremendous, folks. We are going to do tremendous things.”
– – –
News Sense News is a satirical blog of fake news that aims to criticize and ridicule human ignorance and narrow-mindedness.