Trump: Las Vegas Shooting is Act of Pure Evil

President Trump was quick to condemn the Las Vegas shooting on Monday morning.

“This was an act of pure evil,” he read carefully from his teleprompter in his official televised White House response to the Las Vegas massacre, watching for opportunities to go off script, which he could not find because of the vigilant watch of his staff.

Later in the day, when taking a deserved bathroom break, he provided more details.

“There is blame on both sides,” he tweeted before it was time for him to wipe. “I have no doubt about it, and you don’t have any doubt about it. And if you reported it accurately, you would say it.**”

“There were good people on both sides,” he clarified while still sitting on the throne of his locked bathroom, on the door of which there had been alarmed knocks by his staff, urging him to finish his bathroom business swiftly. “And bad people too. Very bad people.”

He was unable to tweet more, as his bathroom recreational trip was regrettably over and his cell phone was taken away for its daily “routine maintenance”, which typically lasts unknown number of hours, just enough to somehow prevent Mr. Trump from tweeting his mind before the aforementioned mind drifts off to something else.

** Exact quote from Mr. Trump’s response to the Charlottesville massacre.

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News Sense News is a SATIRICAL blog of FAKE NEWS that aims to highlight, criticize and ridicule corruption, ignorance and narrow-mindedness.

 

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