After what appeared to be significant vetting of what he called “a variety of mediocre options”, the presumptive Republican nominee Donald Trump has finally come up with a running mate: Donald Trump.
“Look, folks,” he said to a group of shocked reporters, “I looked everywhere. Everywhere. And I asked everyone. Everyone who made sense. And you know what? They were all bad. All bad. Terrible.”
The failed search did not discourage the intrepid presidential nominee. The apparent impasse he was in gave birth to an idea.
“I asked myself,” Trump shared, “who is the only one in the world, the only one who can be a worthy running mate to the greatest president the United States is ever going to have. And the answer was obvious.”
“Donald John Trump!” he announced. “That’s right. I am going to be my own Vice President. And it will be tremendous. I tell you, folks, it will be tremendous.”
We consulted our legal team to the constitutionality of Donald Trump’s decision, and they shrugged.
“The constitution does not prohibit it,” they said. “This means it’s allowed.”
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