Generous Donor Donates Brain to Ted Cruz

Too little, too late, lamented Canadian Cuban Rafael Edward “Ted” Cruz, who is trailing by a significant margin to reality TV entertainer Donald John Trump in the race for the Republican nomination for the U.S. Presidency.

Cruz has been struggling to get the support needed for his campaign to take off. Republican donors, who had previously thrown their weight behind establishment candidate Jeb Bush, raising more than 130 million for his candidacy, had swiftly switched to supporting another failing candidate, Marco Rubio of Florida, after Bush failed to muster the interest to run for President. They have indicated that their next favorite candidate would be John Kasich, if or when Rubio decides to bow out of the race.

An unexpected donor surprised a disheartened Mr. Cruz. He did not offer money,  which would have been Mr. Cruz’ preference, since money would allow him to purchase votes. Republican votes currently sell at close to $3 per vote.

Instead, the donor, identified only by the name B. Carson, offered to donate what he called a “large, healthy brain, which Mr. Cruz might find useful.”

“No, not my brain,” laughed the mysterious Carson, careful not to reveal his identity. “My brain would be of no value to Mr. Cruz, who already has one like mine, and it hasn’t done him any good. I am offering a completely different brain,” he said.

He declined to give further details, as he feared what he referred to as “unwelcome questions and unintended consequences.”

Mr. Carson, who would not reveal his first name to protect his identity, is rumored to be a former brain surgeon, so, his offer is believed to be a genuine one.

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News Sense News is a satirical blog of fake news that aims to criticize and ridicule human ignorance and narrow-mindedness.

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