Controversial Reality TV star Donald John Trump has done it again! His new reality show America’s Got Freaks premiered on Fox News Channel this past Thursday, August 6, 2015, drawing millions of viewers and delighting audiences worldwide.
“Mr. Trump is awesome!” exclaimed excited New York resident Samantha Linden who watched the new show at a local pub. “He comes up with unique, creative entertainment ideas. Freaks! Who’d have thought they’d be so much fun to watch?”
“Only someone as well connected as him could have pulled this off,” said Cleveland resident Jonathan Reeves, who was one of the few lucky viewers who was able to attend the premiere in person as it aired live on Thursday night at the Cleveland Quicken Loans Arena. “Not sure where he found them, but he found them. Freaks like this bunch are not easy to come by.”
The show is similar to other elimination shows on TV, but it’s got some unique twists. The contest starts off with a collection of carefully selected freaks, who seem to believe they have a shot at being President of the U.S. They then do their best to embarrass and humiliate themselves on stage, after which the American public will vote them, one by one, off the island.
“The difference,” said Mr. Trump, “is that these weirdos don’t actually need to try. They are natural freaks, so to speak. They also are, in addition, naturally dumb, so dumb, that they actually don’t know they are dumb, and they in fact think they are clever. They will entertain you without even knowing they are doing that.”
Mr. Trump has added one more twist to this new and unique show.
“I will be disguised as freak too,” he said. “This way, I can be on stage with them, and stir them to show off their worst.”
He waved off the claim that one of the freaks is not actually American and is therefore not eligible to compete.
“Who cares,” he said. “Mr. Cruz is likely not going to last out there too long anyway. I’m willing to overlook the fine print and let a Cuban Canadian in for the entertainment of the viewers.”
The new show promises to be the dominant TV event for at least several months, while all participating freaks are voted off the island.
“All but one,” clarified Trump. “And you’ll never guess who will be the one that remains.”
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