House Speaker John Andrew Boehner announced today that Senate Republicans have drafted yet another letter to Iran, this time addressed to Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Seyyed Ali Hosseini Khamenei. The letter will extend an invitation to the Iranian spiritual leader to speak to U.S. Congress about his ideas of Death to America.
The unusual measure will be taken after a speech delivered by Israel’s Benjamin “Bibi” Netanyahu failed to derail a deal with Iran which most Republicans consider to be a personal failure in their quest to prevent current president Barrack Obama from achieving anything constructive in U.S. foreign policy.
“We are hoping that Mr. Khamenei succeeds where Netanyahu failed,” said Boehner. “U.S. Congress has to hear the Ayatollah’s heartfelt plea for destruction of America, which this terrible deal will most certainly ruin completely if it were to be implemented.”
Spokesman of President Obama hailed the decision, saying that it indicates that the deal is already working.
“Our Republicans are talking to their Republicans,” he said. “This is more than decades of rhetorics have succeeded to achieve.”
Addressing the Iranian media, the Ayatollah welcomed Boehner’s willingness to sacrifice anything and everything for the mere goal of opposing Obama, saying that he and Boehner share a common vision that politics matters more than human lives. Still, he was hesitant to jump to conclusions before he saw the exact text of the drafted letter.
“I will, of course, consider the invitation carefully,” the Ayatollah said, waving his characteristic half-used roll of toilet paper which he always carries for emergency use in case the restroom he ends up at has run out, “but I will withhold judgement until I know all the details.”
He added that Boehner may be too radical to be trusted.
– – –
News Sense News is a satirical fake news blog that aims to criticize and ridicule human ignorance and narrow-mindedness.