Wisconsin’s Governor Scott Kevin Walker is joining the Republican ticket in the 2016 Presidential Election. Unlike his opponents, Democrat or Republican alike, however, he has a clear and unique message to his electorate:
“Americans deserve a leader who will fight and win for them,” said Walker.
Walker’s message is indeed refreshingly unique and disingenuously creative, since no other candidate in history has ever come up with anything like it before.
Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders, for example, are focused on building out the middle class and improving education and health care for everyone. Jeb Bush represents the oil industry and the Koch brothers. Donald Trump promises to build walls and bomb oil fields so that Mexicans and ISIS alike are annihilated from the face of the Earth. Ted Cruz will most likely fight for either Cuba, where he is from, or Canada, where he was born.
“No other candidate focuses on what’s important,” stressed Walker to make sure he distinguishes himself from the rest of the candidates. “And what’s important is Americans,” he said simply, adding a dramatic pause so that the full weight of his words can sink in. “I bet you have never heard this message before, and must be really excited to finally have a candidate that tells it to you as simply and clearly as I do.”
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News Sense News is a satirical blog that aims to criticize and ridicule human ignorance and narrow-mindedness.
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