Texas Cop Not a Racist, Just a Regular Asshole, Attorney Says


Texas cop David Eric Casebolt, a video of whom surfaced on the Internet showing him running around amok after black teens, ordering them to the ground, pushing a thin black teenage girl onto her face and putting his knee on her back to hold her down, drawing his handgun and pointing it at black teenagers at least twice during the duration of the video, is not a racist, said his attorney Jane Bishkin.

“He enjoys shouting at people and pushing them around in general. Brutality is part of his personality. He does not discriminate by race,” said Mrs. Bishkin. “He’s just a regular asshole. Nothing more to it.”

She plans to use that fact as the central argument in Mr. Casebolt’s defense in the extremely unlikely event that charges are pressed against Mr. Casebolt.

“Being an asshole is not illegal,” she confirmed. “and that’s all that Mr. Casebolt is.”

Mrs. Bishkin plans to draw on numerous examples from Mr. Casebolt’s past to prove her point.

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News Sense News is a satirical blog that aims to criticize and ridicule human ignorance and narrow-mindedness.


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