Senate Republicans expressed outrage today to further delays along the road to destruction of Planet Earth.
“The new rules and regulations of fracking take us one step further from that eventual goal,” said Senate Majority Leader Addison Mitchell “Mitch” McConnell Jr.
Why is fracking so important?
“It’s the first step,” shared Mr. McConnell. “First, you poison the underground water. Then, you deplete the fresh water. The air quality will degrade as well.“
“The fractured rock will eventually yield and we will see increased seismic activity, as we have already demonstrated in the past” he continued to explain. “Violent earthquakes will hopefully be followed by tsunami, if planned right.”
“We have put a lot of thought into this. All angles have been carefully considered and we have been on a tight schedule towards the destruction of Planet Earth.”
Recently, however, there have been some setbacks.
“There are people in our Government,” McConnell said without naming names, “who don’t care at all about the destruction of the Earth. They have, in fact, pushed for regulations that deter our progress in this direction.”
“We will fight with everything we have to continue on the path of complete destruction that we have been working so hard to achieve.”
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