Florida Governor Rick Scott Bans the Term “Penis Size” in His Family


News just hit the wire that Florida Governor Richard “Rick” Lynn Scott banned the use of the term “Penis Size” in his family.

“We don’t want to be talking about things that are not confirmed facts,” he stated.

This latest ban happens on the heels of several similar bans he had instituted at the State level. Starting with a ban on the use of the terms “Climate Change”, “Global Warming” or “Sustainability”, he moved on to banning terms such as “World Hunger”, “Racism”, “Sexism”, “Equal Pay”, “Pro-Choice”, “Human Rights”, “Marriage Equality”, “Gun Control”.

He then quickly moved to banning terms such as “Republican IQ” and “Idiotic Moron” for reasons he declined to disclose.

He attempted, though failed to ban approximately 80% of the words in the Oxford English Dictionary. His failure was due to the fact that he could not describe the ban in a written form without the use of the words he was trying to ban.

The latest bans, however, have gone as granular as at the level of his own family. At first, he only banned the use of the terms “Asshole”, “Loser”, “Hate You” and “Divorce”. The latest ban was on the use of the term “Penis Size”.

“Terms that cannot be publicly verified should not be discussed,” he explained.

Mr. Scott’s wife Ann Scott has acknowledged that Mr. Scott’s unprecedented bans have led to one very critical consequence.

“It’s really quiet at home now,” she shared. “I suppose this should be counted as a blessing.”

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News Sense News is a satirical blog that aims to criticize and ridicule ignorance and narrow-mindedness.


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