George Lucas to Write 24 More Star Wars Movies


George Walton Lucas, Jr., the creator of the popular Star Wars franchise, delighted fans today by announcing that he has been working on 24 new Star Wars scripts.

“The stories were there. They just needed to be told,” said Lucas.

The new movies will be made and released over the next 250-300 years, one trilogy at a time, at regular 20-30 year intervals in between.

“We will be using as much of the original cast as we can,” said Lucas. “That’s what the fans want; that’s what we will give them.”

We were concerned that not everyone from that cast would be able to participate.

“It is true that not everyone is still around,” said Lucas. “Alec [Guiness] (old Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi), for example, left us a few years ago, but our new Obi-Wan, Ewan [McGregor] will be just about the right age for the ghost of old Ben by the time the next few trilogies come around, and he’ll look very similar to what Alec used to look back then.”

“Carrie [Fisher] has aged gracefully, and she would be perfect for the role of 70, 80 and 90-years old Princess Leia Organa in Episodes X, XI and XII.”

“And Mark [Hamill] (Luke Skywalker) and Harrison [Ford] (Han Solo) are still going strong. Luke’s a Jedi, he will be around for at least 850 more years and he should be able to participate in most if not in all the new movies,” he said.

We asked if he might be confusing the character with the actor.

“Perhaps,” said Lucas. “But that’s a sign of a good story.”

What about other characters that have made the movies more children-friendly but alienated some of the original fans, such as Jar Jar Binks?

“Sadly, Jar Jar did not make it,” lamented Lucas without giving an explanation. “However, we will continue to cater to younger and younger audiences. We plan to bring in some Sesame Street characters in Episodes XVI, XVII and XVIII, and at least two of the Teletubbies in Episode XXI.”

What about Mr. Lucas himself? How will he continue to be involved with the new movies once the scripts are written?

“My plan is to sell all 24 or maybe even more scripts to Disney as soon as they are done. I will then step back and look for a small planet for sale somewhere in the Degoba system, where I can retire in peace.”

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News Sense News is a satirical fake news blog that aims to, well, make fun of things.


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