Creationists were dealt a major blow today with the discovery that evolution has been acting observably in the area of New York City.
Many New York City drivers seem to have grown a third hand in their struggle to adapt to their environment.
“At first, I kept switching between the gear and the horn,” recounts New York City driver Amanda Sheffield. “But, I seemed to need to operate both. Together. All the time! And then one day, I noticed it. I had grown a third hand. Driving has been simple since then. Now I use my previous right hand for honking, as nature designed it, and my newly grown right hand for changing the gears.”
Asked what she does with her left hand, she demonstrated.
“Fuck you too!” said a passer by, misunderstanding the gesture to refer to him.
“This is a wonderful demonstration of Evolution at work!” said Evolutionary Biologist Reese Plank. “Only those who are fittest to drive in New York City, namely, those with three hands, are the ones that survived. Everyone else shied away from driving, stayed home, never procreated, and ultimately had their gene pool disappear as unfit.”
Reverend Father Georgious, who has dedicated his life to teaching Creationism, could not be reached for comment. 12 year old Josh, who has been his “altar boy” for the past 4 years, spoke instead of him when cornered by a group of journalists. “I think God created these extra hands,” Josh said, “just as he makes hairs grow in strange places, which then need to be blessed and purged.”
The Government has appealed to the public to refrain from further inquiries. They swear in their honesty that the strange phenomenon is by no means related to recent increase of sales of weapons-grade Uranium to households that can afford it.
(See completely unrelated article on Weapons-Grade Uranium Sales in Texas)
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News Sense News is a satirical blog that likes to, well, make fun of things.