Dennis Rodman Will Not Bring Officer Pantaleo to Kim Jong-Un


American celebrity and basketball legend Dennis Rodman shared with us today that his good friend Kim Jong-Un, supreme leader of the People’s Republic of Korea, has expressed his strong desire to meet NYPD officer Daniel Pantaleo, whom he idolizes as a hero for his complete lack of moral fiber and his unrestrained drive for excessive violence and aggression that goes beyond any human norms.

(See related article Kim Jong-Un to Erect Statue of Officer Pantaleo)

“Yeah, Jong-Jong asked, in fact pretty much ordered me to bring Pantaleo along next time I go visit,” said Rodman, using an endearing nickname to refer to his close friend.

Will Mr. Rodman comply with this demand?

“I thought about it,” Rodman started carefully. “A lot.”

Thinking doesn’t do much, in our humble opinion. What will Mr. Rodman do?

“I thought I could meet him half-way,” said Rodman. “You know, bring in along a couple other NYPD cops for show and tell, but Jongie wouldn’t have it. He wants the hero himself.”

Why is it so difficult for Mr. Rodman to meet Kim’s actual demand?

“The police, you know, ain’t exactly my good friends,” confessed Rodman, looking briskly over his shoulder by habit. “Who knows what they’d do if I happen to accidentally drug some chick in the hotel, or if I violate my rehab orders.”

But the police is there to ensure the safety and security of everyone, including Mr. Rodman.

“Yeah, right,” said Rodman. “Except for one little thing. You probably don’t know this, but under all these tattoos, I’m actually a Black man.”


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