Ferguson Police Chief Can’t Wait for Mockingjay II

An emotional Ferguson Police Chief Thomas Jackson shared today that he could not wait a day longer to see the conclusion of the Hunger Games saga in the highly anticipated last installment of the series, Mockingjay II.

“The Hunger Games has been one of my most favorite movies of all time,” he confessed. “I can’t wait to find out how the story is going to end!”

What part of the story does he find most appealing?

“Well, you see, it’s a mirror image of our world,” he said. “There is the powerful Capitol, who has gone to great lengths to build a perfect society which functions as clockwork. And then, this bitch Katniss Everdeen appears, causes irreparable damage, and it’s up to the hero of the movie, President Snow, to restore peace and stability.”

“This is what I face every day with my job,” he added.

So, despite of being a die-hard fan, he has not yet read the books?

“I couldn’t possibly,” he said. “They are long, and have many complicated words. Why spend months, maybe years, trying to read a book, when you can see the entire story in two hours on a movie screen?”

So, he has resisted asking someone who has read the books about the ending?

“It’s not the job of a Police Chief to ask questions,” said Jackson. “We are trained from the very beginning of being hired to ignore any need for finding additional information about anything.”

“Besides,” he added, “I don’t know anyone who reads books.”

How does he think the story is going to end?

“I’m hoping for a happy ending!” he said with tears in his eyes. “I’m the kind of guy who always roots for the good guys! The Capitol must prevail! The rebels must be eradicated! The careful balance of that perfect world must be brought back to what it has always been!”

We wished Mr. Jackson best of luck.

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